From The Backlist: "What Love Means" by Kim Falconer

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It's backlist time -- & we love this post on "What Love Means " by Kim Falconer.

Time to share it again, we thought. So here it is! Enjoy!!

The "Quantum" Series

What Love Means

by Kim Falconer

I find it fascinating that the English Language has only one word for love. We love our cars and cats and pancakes. We love our new job, the latest film and the computer that never lets us down. We love our gardens, sports, family and our lovers, but the feeling for these ‘loved ones’ can be quite different. Still, we say the same thing: I love . . . Not so in other cultures. The ancient Greeks, for example, had four different words for love with different meanings and different ‘locations.’

Love as Epithemia translates into words like horny or randy. It’s a physical, sensual, sexy love that’s hard to resist. Animal attraction. Chemistry. You know the kind? It’s tactile and felt in the body. It wants to get close, to touch and explore. It wants to have sex because that’s the only thing that will put the fire out!

Love as philia is a friendship love that brings creative inspiration. There can be a deep sense wanting to be together in companionship and co-creation. Philia is felt in the heart. We can write characters that have a feeling of philia for each other and it really screws things up if they do have sex. Or if one character is feeling the philia and the other is on fire with epithemia. These make great problems for convoluted story lines!

Love as Eros is felt in the soul. Eros is a god from which we get the word erotic, but to the ancient Greeks it was much more than just ‘sex’. The original definition of erotic (of Eros) is a situation when two or more people come together in such a way there is a lasting transformation. By this definition, sex is seldom erotic, but it can be. The Eros relationship is heady, intense, obsessive. It always leads to growth and change.

Love as agape is a divine love felt in the spirit. It may not need the body conneciton to feel fulfilled. This is also tantric, sex that opens the mind to another level of consciousness. Agape can lead to transcendence where characters move beyond their earthly limitations to become more than they ever thought possible.

Stories that contrast these kinds of love can be deeply moving because they speak to our own subtle and complex longings. One character feeling the ‘brotherly love’ of philia may be confronted by their companion’s erotic fire. Someone with the reverence of agape may not know how to face pure epithemia head on. It’s not unrequited love, exactly (it doesn’t have to distance characters) but it brings trouble and that’s exactly what we want in a good read! Mixing up the love keeps the stakes high and the dynamics flowing!

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To check in on Kim, try these links:

AKWilder.com, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and KimFalconer.com. 

Throw the bones on the AKWilder.com site -- see you there!

Kim also writes as AK Wilder