Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Apology Letter to my Muse

Year of Living Authentically: Does the Muse exist and does she hate me?

First off, HAPPY FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO ME AT SUPERNATURAL UNDERGROUND! Yes, it was four years ago today that these wonderful women took me under their paranormal wings and let me blog with them. Still feel blessed for all they have taught me.

Now. Back to Business.

Dear Muse, 

First off, I know that you exist. I can feel you dancing around in my brain and pushing me to create stories that answer questions and explore feelings and bring forth goodness and safe places of escape into the world.

But about last weekend.

I know that last weekend I did something crazy and that is why you are not speaking to me now. I know that I spent three days hold-up in a writing retreat. I know that you were with me until the end, and by the end, we were both spent. There was far too much coffee and far too little sleep. There was good times and bad times, and then there was wine.

You let me marinate in the world I was creating,  just living there, the two of us. Let me figure out the questions, the who's, what's and where's. Let me dance with joy when we figured out the missing piece that locked everything into place. And then, we wrote like a zephyr to catch all that magic created between us, all the answers to those questions, all the incidents that tested our hero's limits until we were both saddle-sore and exhausted.

Current Pretty Boy Bait
And now you have gone and my brain is dry. I have nothing creative left to give and every idea seems like the wrong one without the passion you brought to the page.

So the real question is do I wait for you to come back willingly or will I have to bait you once again with pretty boys and pretty words and pretty sleep with pretty dreams.

Do I follow Maya Angelou's advice and just keep writing. Just keep working until you are tempted to join me once again, to capture the magic once again. Tempt you with the rhythm of my tapping across the keys of my computer until you are back beside me once again.

For all that writing is hard work and persistence and just looking at that sentence one more time, I miss your sly smile that makes me forget about the toil and do it for the joy. That drives my fingers a little faster and keeps me up past my bedtime.

I remain yours faithfully (but seriously now, I'm on a deadline),

Amanda Arista


Helen Lowe said...

Happy 4th anniversary, Amanda!

And I'm with Maya Angelou: just keep writing until you hit that good groove. And be willing to write and throw away until you do.

Amanda Arista said...

Thank you Helen!

It is a rough thing, this muse-play. But yes, currently writing until i get my groove back.

Helen Lowe said...

You definitely will, Amanda, I feel sure of that.