Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Bringing Sexy Back

All right, ladies, let's keep this short and sweet, shall we?

(Gentlemen, pull up a chair and add your assent, won't you? I think the ladies will appreciate it.)

I have, on and off for the past ten years or so, worked at a Halloween store. Not this year, but I do go in now and again to lend a hand and the mancandy likes to dress up at any given opportunity and go hang out to drive sales. So! I have experience, y'all. I know what I'm talking about. For this brief moment in time, I am The Expert.

And the Expert is telling you ladies to quit waiting for Halloween to bring the sexy on.

Are you listening?

Here's how this goes: Every year, I saw beautiful women—and I'm talking, like, normal, everyday women who just so happen to be beautiful because they're like you—come rushing into the store and ogle the sexy costumes. And every year, I'd watch the Leg Avenue costumes fly off the shelves.

Okay, I know some of them are totally skankalicious, but there are some gorgeous Leg Avenues out there. Their pirate collection is especially lovely.

But I always think: Halloween. Ghoulish, ghostie delights. It's the one time a year you can dress up really scary and weird and fantastical (unless you're a con professional or, you know, actually a zombie). It's the day and night when no one will think twice if you're covered in blood, growling around and threatening to eviscerate children (Trust me, I know...)

So why do all these ladies keep going for the sexy time costumes?

Look. I'm not trying to tell you how to do your business, but I have a proposition for you. Are you listening? Here, have some tea. Okay, here's the deal:

There are 364 other days (probably not including the days you attend Church or something, so use your own judgment here) when you can dress as sexy as you like. It might not be as in-your-face as a Leg Avenue costume, but there is a sexy that is not just encouraged in public, but just drop-dead-gorgeous. There are 364 days to be confident, gorgeous, show a little leg or flash a red-lipped smile. To let your hair down. To wear a skirt and a wedge heel or a pair of jeans and a sweater that hugs just so, and make every eye in the room turn to you with a silent, Wow.

But only one when you cover yourself in blood and stagger through the streets.

At least without psychiatric evaluation to follow.

So come on, ladies. Join me in this: I think we should bring sexy back, every day. Or at least every day we bother to leave the house. It takes work to look as good as we do, after all—we should get the occasional day off. (Says the oh, so glamorous author sitting in her robe and slippers...)

And on Halloween, we should go all out: blood, gore, fangs, flesh, whatever. And you know what? If you want to be sexy on Halloween too, I'm all for it. Let's just add a little supernatural flair—fangs, bloody aprons, meat cleavers. The Black Widow who temps her loves and devours them in her web, I can get behind that.

But let's embrace the spirit of Halloween, which isn't to dress up in a way you could every day (sexy, ladies, you know it), but as someone or something you're not.

And every lady is sexy. You just have to tap into it, is all.

So who's with me? Who wants to being sexy back?


Angela @ Reading Angels said...

I buy the sexy costumes and were them ONLY at home :) My hubby enjoys them and I bring sexy back!
For Halloween (if I get to dress up that is) I like going weird :)

This year I have to throw a costume together for under 5$, so I'm going to see what I can pull together...I think I may go as a zombie punk rocker....
I have the clothes, just need a little makeup and viola!

Anonymous said...

I love that, Reading Angel! I gotta admit, they're hella sexy -- and good for you and your husband, I say. ;) I don't think we should put a moratorium on Leg Avenue, after all.

I just think there's so many BETTER ways to use them, eh, eh? [eyebrow waggle] I know you agree.

Sharon S. said...

with younger kids I must keep my costume family friendly to hand out candy. I look forward to the day when I can bring sexy back! Maybe I will buy those stripper heals/boots I see at the costume store this year ;)

Anonymous said...

@SHaron: That's okay! 'Cause with younger kids, you can totally be all, "I am a zombie, I will EAT YOUR FACE!"

Well, maybe... not quite so much... But you can certainly get away with more scary than sexy! I love both; but I don't get to be scary all the time. So I totally dig it on Halloween.

Robyn said...

I do sexy whenever i dang well please - but NOT for halloween! This year i'm doing "party-girl-zombie" - little party dress, shredded; loads of bloody wounds, bruises, dirt...the scarier the better. Last year i made a little boy cry, and then made it worse when i tried to apologize - still feel a little bad about that, but what's a dead girl to do? seriously.

Anonymous said...

@Robyn: What IS a dead girl to do? ;) I love that -- the mix of "normal" and "freaking scary". This year, I'm doing a blood-soaked Alice in Wonderland. I love scary costumes -- but I'm such a weenie when it comes to zombies! :D They scare ME!

nymfaux said...

fantastic post!!!

--lately I feel like I get to be scary every day--but not in a good way. with no one to show off for, I put off changing out of my pjs.

but some good blood and gore scary sounds like a lot of fun!!!

Anonymous said...

@Nymfaux: Bwahaha! I hear you, sister. But the way I see it,t here's nothing a little gore and fangs can't perk RIGHT up. ;)

Helen Lowe said...

As I recall, when Buffy went sexy for Halloween in series 2, it really didn't go so well, but then again, it worked out great for Willow ...

Confession: I do like to be comfortable most of the time, but I think there's a big difference between "comfortable" and "sloppy"--and I find a little bit of drama with accessories and jewellery goes a long way. Although when I went to Armageddon the other day for a signing, I still opted for being "Helen-in-Black" again, buoyed up by all the Supe support, right here, for that look before I went to Worldcon. :)

Nicole Murphy said...

Amen, sista! Let's all embrace the sexy! Says me in my terribly sexy flannie pyjamas :)

Totally agree. I have to go out today, and will bring the sexy to it.

Katie Dalton said...

I am with ya Karina! I buy costumes day after halloween and wear them for just me (single at the moment, ok been a year...so what?!)
I am sexy at home! Party of 1!!!! lol

Toadee said...

speaking as a male (or so I'm told) I am begging you ladies to take on board this excellent advice. Sexy is good!
Then again I'm lucky because I don't need you to dress up in costume or finery to push my buttons, the sexiest thing i ever see is a smile ; )

GB said...

Oh, how I do love to hear the voice of reason. Way to go, Karina!

I've never understood the idea of dressing like a skank for Halloween. Unless it's an undead skank. Then you could almost get away with it. :)

Sexy and skanky are two different things and I'm totally on board with 364 days of sexy, 1 day scary.

On the other hand, skanky can be kinda scary but not in a good way... :P

Anonymous said...

Even though I am gay, I enjoy looking at the female body. It's perfection at it's finest. SOo all of you gorgeous women out there, let's bring the sexy back!!! I am an ardent fan of the books and three words that sum up the books is Sexy As Hell.

Peace Out

Claire Dawn said...

We just discussed this at work ( we have a lot of free time). Why be yourself for Halloween. You should be a character- from a fairy tale, a ghost story, your fave cartoon- something. Not just a regular human being. How boring is that?

LadyValkyrie37 said...

How about taking the skanky out of Halloween and bringing it back to what it's supposed to be... SCARY... Halloween is not about some teenage boy's wet dream come true. Keep the skanky outfits for the roleplaying in the bedroom, ok?