Sunday, October 30, 2016

Burnout, or sometimes you just gotta take five ...

Hi. I haven't been here for awhile. Apologies for that, but I've had some thinking to do, and to be honest, I'm not sure whether I'm done thinking or not. I am back, though, at least for today.

I think I flamed out for awhile there ... blogging and writing and blogging and writing and blogging ... until I thought I might implode. Everything felt like work. Just dragging myself out of the bed in the morning turned into a miniature triumph.

Writing seemed like such a bloody chore, I had force my way through every blog post. Fiction was a little easier, but not by much. Even though I wasn't under contract anymore, I kept pushing myself as if I was, and that attitude had a negative impact both on my work and my mental health.

The weird thing is that I never felt as stressed while writing under contract as I did when there is no contract. Writing on spec is hard, because you're never sure if the next thing is going to sell or not. I placed a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself.

And while all of these things were going on, I became frustrated and discouraged--two things that are never good for me--and the whole writing gig just plunged me into an abyss, where it seemed that no matter what I've done, I felt like I'd done nothing. I know this makes no sense, but bear with me ...

After some time off and a good long think, I realized I needed to write the stories and posts that I love writing. I'll never make money at this gig, so why be miserable?

Just to draw myself out of my funk, I wrote some blog posts about grimoires. I enjoyed working on them and had a great deal of fun. Then I decided to release a Los Nefilim novelette to my newsletter subscribers one chapter at a time. It's been very well received. My subscribers are having fun and so am I. The project isn't overwhelming, and I am slowly, but surely falling back into good writing habits.

I'm exceptionally pleased with the rewrite of my proposal for a new Los Nefilim novel. I'm also working on a Los Nefilim novella and a short story set in that world. In addition, I'm working on a contemporary novel that is beginning to take shape. I've also got some reviews of other authors' books that I'm looking forward to writing.

Self-care has become my watchword, and I'm learning to pace myself better. I want to thank the authors here at Supernatural Underground for being so supportive of my time away. I think I'll be around a bit more in the coming months, but if you don't see me here, it doesn't mean I've left. It simply means that I need a little time to regroup and clean up my attitude before showing my face in public.

Sometimes I just have to take five. I'm sure you do too.

Be well ...


Rachel A. Marks said...

I'm right there with you, T! Great post, makes me feel less alone in the madness of this strange artform :)

T. Frohock said...

I'm glad to know it's not just me. ;-)