Thursday, December 3, 2015

The word no one can say but everyone searches for

Year of Living Authentically: Finding home

So apparently its December. I'm not sure what happened. When I started typing a month ago, there were pumpkins, and when I just looked up, there are lights and evergreens everywhere. It is very disconcerting just how fast everything has happened this year.

Which is why, my lovelies, it is paramount that you live all moments authentically. As the most heroic version of yourself. If the characters in our stories have taught anything, you get nothing without blood, sweat, and tears. It's hard because it's real. Living Authentically is not for the faint of heart.

I really like this quote from Dr. Brene Brown. It speaks to me as a writer and as a mother who is constantly giving a toddler options for dinner. According to my daughter, the answer to all life's questions is cheese.

Choices test who we are, shape who we are, and prove who we are. A good writer will always give the hero a choice to be ordinary or extraordinary. A good writer will always give the villain a choice to be good or evil. The choice sets each on a path that will never be the same. There are no do-overs (except in those sci-fi's- but that might be another post for another day).

The universe is one long buffet line of choices and, man, sometimes that seven layer chocolate cake looks amazing, but we know the harder path, the better path, should have some veggies and meat. We can't eat cheese all the time. I repeat, Bean, we can't eat cheese all the time.

When you get tired, it is so much easier to take the easy way out, be nice instead of being kind, placate to  stop the insanity. We let parts of ourselves get stepped on or step on other people because we are not in a good place ourselves. And there is nothing more tiring than looking at a holiday schedule and trying to figure out how you are going to bake pies,  get family photos, and still make it to that cocktail hour for work.

In moments when I know I'm not being awesome, yes it does happen, I stop and find my happy place. Find something that reminds me of who I am. I don't think that querencia needs to be a Fortress of Solitude, but if you've got one, hey, live the dream. I think it needs to be a touchstone. Something that reminds you that life is hard, precious, and totally worth the slower path.

I hope in this multi-part rant, you have found some truth. I have grown in this past year, trying to follow my own tenants of Authenticity:

Know your balance
Tell the truth, especially to yourself and especially if its funny.
Be kind, not nice.
Find others who speak your language.
Read Well and Often.
Find your Home.
Keep calm and Live Authentically.


Amanda Arista

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