Hi Everyone!
I shared a version of this earlier on
AvaSykes.com and wanted to bring it here too.
The good news is, I've finished another novel!
The
other news is, finishing it dropped me into a well of grief.
It's happened so regularly, this emotional plummet after achievement, a kind of
post-completion depression, I decided to do a little research.
Turns out, it's a thing.
The ecstasy
It started out on Cloud 9. The
first draft of a new work, a YA Paranormal, was complete, working title:
The Cloud Forest. Here's the guff.
Fifteen-year-old
Bri Arias survives a car accident but isn’t regaining consciousness.
While her body lays comatose, her spirit roams the shaded world between
waking and dreaming, life and death. In a parallel version, one where
the accident never happened, Bri has the worst summer possible. Her
archaeologist mother recruits Bri, and her year 10 Earth Science class,
for a dig in the Andes Mountains. Touched by a shamanic spell, Bri
becomes a ‘carrier’, a host to souls in transition, and most of them are
not human. In one world, Bri is hospitalized and treated for
schizophrenia; in another, she discovers a threat to the fabric of
life-after-death. The only question is, can she wake up in time to save
them both.
Then came the agony
They
say the Hero's Journey is a metaphor for life. The stages, twelve or so depending on who you read, correspond to the psychological steps taken
every time we step out the door, start a project, job, relationship,
degree, oil change, you name it. The process looks awesome on paper. A
guide.
Encouragement.
Full Circle.
But it's not always that neat,
especially at the end if the circle breaks and you spiral into the
depths the 13th lost underworld.
Here's how it's supposed to go:
Step 12 - Return With The Elixir
"This
is the final stage of the Hero's journey in which [the hero] returns
home to the Ordinary World .... [They] will have grown as a person,
learned many things, faced many terrible dangers and even death but now
look forward to the start of a new life. - Dan Bronzite
Yeah, sure. Good, on paper.
But no.
Before any
looking forward to new wonders of life,
there is the part where you hit the pavement, face first.
The agony
after the ecstasy of creative accomplishment.
You write the book, paint
the picture, score the film, edit the video, choreograph the dance ...
It took you a week, or a month, or two years. You give it your last
tweak, mission accomplished and on comes the fanfare! Triumphant Muses!
Ticker-tape parade!
So good on paper.
And maybe it happens like that, for some, but for me it's grief, utter and complete.
Back in the "real world," elixir in hand, and I want to curl up in some dark hollow and die.
Not so uncommon to feel that way
Sure enough, it happens to other writers.
The strangest thing about finishing a book is the incredible sense of loss -- and yes, a bit of depression - when it's over. - Jungle Red Writers on Post Book Depression
Evolutionary advantages
Apparently
there's an evolutionary advantage to depression, and a plethora of
scientific studies on the relationship between it and creative
expression.
... the creative person, who spends his or her time ruminating on thoughts
is likely to suffer from major depression. From an evolutionary
standpoint, depression, while seemingly a hindrance to a healthy and
happy life, is really a balancing act that helps us focus on the areas
where we need to improve most. - Creative Something
If you look deeper at the hero's journey, it is actually there, in the "refusal to return."
Step 12b Refusal to Return
The full round, the norm of the mono-myth,
requires that the hero shall now begin the labor of bringing the runes
of wisdom, the Golden Fleece, or his sleeping princess, back into the
kingdom of humanity, where the boon may redound to the renewing of the
community, the nation, the planet or the ten thousand worlds. But the
responsibility has been frequently refused. Even Gautama Buddha, after
his triumph, doubted whether the message of realization could be
communicated, and saints are reported to have died while in the supernal
ecstasy. Numerous indeed are the heroes fabled to have taken up
residence forever in the blessed isle of the un-aging Goddess of Immortal
Being. -The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell
For
me, it's not so much a fall into darkness but divine homesickness,
leaving the table of the gods behind. Leaving the world behind. It lasts
a day or two, then slowly wears off, like a bad dream fading
away.
Only then can I begin to think of the next step, the next work, and the process begins all over again.
How about you?
Has anyone else felt this way after a creative project is completed? A goal reached? I'd love to hear about it.
***
When
a hero crosses the threshold of their story, they are actively choosing
to go on an adventure, do something completely new, or just face what
they have been avoiding their whole lives. They have met a mentor who
has empowered them or shown them that its not as scary as they think. So
they say YES and they start on their adventure. Everything is new and
shiny once they say YES. Like a baby starting off in the special world. 
